his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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