I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
her vagine was all disorganized.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
