I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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