I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i need some magic done to my vagina
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize