Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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