I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
