He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
