I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
