How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
