haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
