I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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