I am puke
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
