If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's shark week go big or go home
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
