I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
