Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
