So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
