All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it's great music for shaving your balls
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
