the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
