so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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