she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
