its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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