Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
