And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize