This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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