you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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