"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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