I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
