Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
