cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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