i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
