everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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