the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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