Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
