Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize