The maid of honor just puked.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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