so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Text me some of your sweat
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
