Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize