the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
