Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
