I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
