Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
