i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
