i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
