We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Houston, we have a blender
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
