Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Randomize
