I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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