So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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