We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
