kristin has been a bad kristin
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
