I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
